We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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