Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
