I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
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