Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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