Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Blood and glitter go together right?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
They took my balls.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
