Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
