it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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