oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
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You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
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I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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