Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
