we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
