i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
