just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I can't trust your balls anymore.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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