I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
