with your own penis?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
We have started to decorate penises.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
