I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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