I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
it's great music for shaving your balls
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
