I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
