Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
i believe in u and ur pee
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
