I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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