this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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