JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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