if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
