Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
