We won't sleep together?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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