Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
