How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
