I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
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