I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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