yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
