My hair reeks of homosexuality.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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