I am in a vortex of obligation.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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