Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
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