just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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