just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
