what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
