So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
