chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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