im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
