I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
