if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
