dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
