Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
