Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Randomize