evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
