i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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