Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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