So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
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