Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
