how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
