This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
