my mouth tastes like poor choices
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize
