He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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