I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
