I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
