just come out here and I will go home with you...
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
