he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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