Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
