Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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