Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
