only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize