you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
