Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
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